This heaven-sent weather has been humbling.
God has assured me, as He graciously does every year (like a parent does for a small child, who needs the reassurance) that Spring will yet again come to greet me. The long winter was certainly difficult for me to endure. This beautiful day makes me look up at the sky, with wide-eyed wonder and childlike amazement, just sighing with contentment and joy. I feel so tiny in the gigantic scheme of creation, yet important enough to know that my Father sent me a beautiful day that brings peace and tranquility to my heart. As someone who truly is affected by the swings and sways of the seasons, I can tell you I’m overjoyed at breezes and sunshine. Today I was able to go on a walk with one of my best friends. Somehow, we always connect on the most deep levels, without even trying. We’ve made time for each other in our lives, but God did most of the work. She spoke words of healing to me, which sunk in deeply… penetrating who I am, and my perceptions of Me.
Let me tell you some things about her. She and I are totally different. We share many interests and likes, but the similarities stop there. Our personalities are about as different as they come: she is more reserved and very quiet around people she doesn’t know.. I often blurt things out and laugh loudly. We met as roommates, two new transfers to our college. When I first met her, I wondered what God was doing?! “This isn’t the kind of friend I always have! She’s nothing like me! She doesn’t talk! She must not like me…” Little did I know, she was pretty much thinking, “This girl talks so much!” Haha.
Over the months, and now years, Sam has brought me so much joy, so much insight through who she is, and comfort. We’ve laughed–almost to the point of peeing our pants… We’ve also cried. We took a road trip. We’ve been crazy together. We do a lot of things that just make life worth living. She has given me faith in friendship–she has been there for me. Most of all, lately, I see how her friendship has brought me a deep healing, something that only God can start in motion, and something He continues to support. Healing through things I never thought I’d be able to overcome, Healing for things that I had long given up on. She has come to my rescue more times than I can count, being a sister to me and loving me even in failures. In our friendship, it’s been a constant “in-my-face” revelation of how our differences are beautiful; how I could never have picked this friend for myself, No–only God knew that I would need her so much in my life. Her friendship brings freedom, and it brings acceptance to my soul.
This time of life has not been easy for me. I have dealt with stress and anxiety issues (mostly physical ones that you can feel all over your body) since I was about 12. It has been crippling. It has debilitated me in many instances. In some places of my life, I felt I was losing everything, and losing myself because of it. I am telling this story because I hope someone can benefit from it. So many people have reached out to me through my issues and problems; but I am especially thankful for Sam & her family. Her mom is a Psychologist, and has helped me immensely through her love & expertise. She uses a technique called Neurofeedback, which is, essentially a “training session” for your brain. Well, it appears that my brain has been wired the wrong way, something is haywire, and my stress response is always in “fight or flight” mode. It can affect my life . It has made some days a living hell. All-in-all, with Neuro, I’m seeing results. Real ones. Progress. Though it’s a road paved with ups and downs, just day-to-day struggles with it, panic & anxiety can be overcome by God’s grace. If you have issues with these things, think of training your brain–it has done amazing things. So it is through this healing friendship, and the non “coincidence” that we came to be roommates, that God has given me tools to change the course of my future, dealing with these problems. I know that my God is an Awesome one, and that He’s leading me to recovery. It’s a beautiful thing, and I know it’s just the beginning.